An old poem

I wrote this poem a couple years ago, when i didin't know what my life was about. I was bothered by who i was, and i didn't know where i was going. anyways, here it is:

Not right now, Life, Not right now.
Not right now, Friends, I'll get back at you later
Not right now, Girls, It's just not right
Maybe another day, Maybe a month away,
Maybe then I can do this, but not right now

Take me away, shut me off, sedate me
Brain, close your eyes, please don't remember this day
Don't look at yourself, don't look at the wound
just let it heal.
Hide the wound, from everyone except yourself

This was how i felt about myself. When i looked deep down into myself, I saw how broken I was. and I was just trying to get by.

By all that was before I realized that i could have hope for my life. I realized that God loved me so much that he sent Jesus Christ, his son, to suffer and die for everything bad I have done. (and if i believe in him i would have everlasting life with God in heaven). But also, Jesus died so that those who live might no longer live for themselves, but for him who died and was raised again. That was the hope for my life- that i could live for Jesus Christ- for God, who was the only one who truly knew me (even better than i know myself), and he loves me, no matter what I do. He has his plan for me, and if i trust in God, i will never fail.

'For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.'

Now I have hope

Today, friends, today i am stable
loved, and tomorrow i will be too
I have found the one who will never leave me
yet He has been there all along

I once walked in shadows
swallowing my grief
now i have life, i have light
from the one who gave his life for me

cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.